Beware! Man Putting On His Exercise Shoes
The year 2020 brought a lot of surprises to all of us, and most were not good. I picked an opera that I have always wanted to learn during the time off – “Die Frau Ohne Schatten” – the Woman Without a Shadow – by Richard Strauss. I have also been fortunate to discover a remarkable Swedish composer from the first half of the twentieth century, the relatively unknown Ture Rangström. I am trying to make him less anonymous.
I also took training and certified in an area that will provide a future article.
But, seriously, why not attempt to avoid the dreaded COVID-19 and try to get in shape? Quite frankly, there has never been a period of my life when I was truly “in shape.” Oh, some 15-20 years ago, I was a member of the old Downtown YMCA. I would ride a stationary bike for 45 minutes, three or four times a week for several years. That was probably the closest I ever came to feeling somewhat fit. It even allowed me to complete a ride in the MS 150 with relative ease.
My wife, Lisa Powell, has been in a “Boot Camp” with some friends for some 15 years herself. She gets up at 5:00 am three times a week. Impressive and, one would hope, be inspiring to me. To no one’s surprise, I sleep in.
A few months ago, we entered the “Peloton Era” as Lisa purchased the latest computer exercise bike – one fitted with a screen so you can have a personal trainer at your fingertips encouraging you to peddle faster and faster, further and further. This seems like the perfect way to stay safe and to exercise in the comfort of your home.
Due to the heavy demand of like-minded people, there was a one month waiting period for delivery of the bike and our special Peloton shoes.
Finally, Lisa got the call that the bike was to be delivered and installed by a professional. Another nice touch in that putting things together is another in a long line of my “non-specialties.”
With the bike finally assembled and ready for action, we tried on our special shoes. You guessed it, hers fit, and mine did not. They use the European sizing method, and we had ordered what we thought would be my standard size 12. The ones that came for me were 11’s at best. An immediate set back to my noble aspirations. They fit our son, Jack, however, so all was not lost.
Naturally, I got on-line and ordered the largest size that Peloton offers for men, a whopping 13 1/2 sized clodhoppers! They were delivered quite soon, and I was ready to go.
Arriving at 1:00 pm on a Wednesday, I took them into our kitchen to immediately try them on. A perfect fit, how exciting. As you can see by the photographs, they have a hard plastic bottom, and one has to manually add the part on the bottom that clicks into the bike’s pedal. Of course, the base is to add stability, so there is no problem of your foot slipping off the pedal when the instructor on the screen gets incredibly annoying and demands increased power.
The Peloton cobblers have devised a most exciting shoe. There are two Velcro straps, and last but not least, a belt for a slot on the shoe’s outer side. My problem with this critical final step was that I could not see exactly where the strap entered the ratcheting device. Most people would have carefully removed the shoe and figured out this puzzle. I did not. My reasoning had me consider putting the shoe on a higher level to see the issue and complete the task. Most people would have put the foot and shoe on, say, a modest footstool. I did not. Why not put my shoe on a high footstool, say, a tall kitchen chair? Can you see where this is going?
I placed my right foot and shoe on the kitchen chair with both boots on, some three feet above the hard tile floor. Did I mention that the bottom of the shoes is hard plastic? As you might correctly imagine, they are very slippery on kitchen tiles. With my right foot and shoe in such an awkward position, I could now see how the ratcheting system worked. Success!
Then, my left foot and shoe slipped out from under me, and down I went. Hard! I landed not so graciously on my back, and my head whiplashed to the tile floor. Hard!
I vaguely recall hearing the kitchen television being on as I lost consciousness. After what turned out to be at least a half-hour, I came to and somehow made it to a chair in the living room and sat down, exhausted and confused. Checking my watch, I realized that about 45 minutes had taken place that I could not account for.
I called Lisa, and she came immediately home from work. She took me to the Methodist remote emergency center on the Southwest Freeway just west of Kirby. I received a COVID-19 test that was negative. They performed a brain scan, and I had a subdural hematoma – blood oozing from my brain. It was not life-threatening, but a somewhat dangerous situation and a concussion at my age is not something to ignore. I was there for over six hours before transferring via ambulance to Methodist Hospital in the Texas Medical Center.
At this time, allow me to digress and mention that several doctor friends have mentioned the importance of going to a remote ER rather than to a hospital ER during this dreaded COVID-19 environment. Rather than being exposed to patients at a hospital ER, I remained at the small ER until a room was ready for me at Methodist. The ambulance attendants took me directly to my room, bypassing the regular ER. During those hours at the remote ER, Lisa asked if it would be faster to take me to Methodist herself. As we later found out, if we had done that, the entire evaluation process would start all over. Please keep this advice in mind if an ER visit is needed.
The next morning I was given another scan. The scan indicated that the bleeding had stopped, and by noon I was released. I felt strange grogginess for over a week, as you might expect following a concussion. But at least I was home. A visit scheduled with a neurologist to evaluate my condition was no longer necessary, and I took it easy for a few days.
As to the Peloton, it and my 13 1/2’s remain in our bedroom, and I will start riding after the first of the new year. Although I cannot confirm this, I would bet that I am the only hospitalized simply putting on exercise shoes!